Ascertaining a person’s character is important not only in dating but also in picking friends, business partners, and groups. With groups, you, of course, assess the leader and his/her lieutenants.
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln
“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here are the things to look at in ascertaining a person’s character.
- When in a position of power, how do they treat people below them? How do they treat their employees, old people, restaurant servers, hotel baggage handlers, valet parking attendants, and housekeepers?
- When they get a big promotion at work, a large inheritance, a new house, or a new car, how do they behave? Do they boast, act superior, or treat people as less than themselves?
- Who are their heroes? Who do they admire? Who do they vote for and support to lead your county, state or providence, and city? And, most importantly, what is the character of their heroes?
- When it’s an important issue, do they listen to you carefully? Or do they blow you off with excuses, criticism, or jokes at your expense?
- How do they respond when you or others have a serious problem? For example, major health, financial, or relationship issues. Do they help or get lost?
- What is the usual content of their conversations? Meaningful or meaningless? 95% you and others or 95% them?
- Are they much more interested in themselves than you and others? Like their interests, desires, and problems?
- Do they create conditions whereby people around them must submit to their wishes? And if they don’t, they punish them in some manner like cutting off all lines of communication.
- Do they follow through on their agreements, commitments, and statements? Do they do this regardless of their significance? Or do they make excuses or just not show up?
- Are they opinionated, critical, and narrow-minded? Are they closed to thoughts, ideas, and suggestions from you and others?
- Do they criticize, badmouth, or blame other people? Do they instantly get angry and defensive if they are given constructive criticism? How do they react when you present them with a personal boundary?
- Are they primarily focused on getting more and more things? Like big houses, exotic cars, the newest electronics, and expensive clothes.
- How do they spend their free time? Doing hobbies or doing nothing? Accomplishing or drinking? Playing or watching sports?
- What do they watch on television? Do they watch mind enhancing or mind diminishing programs? How much time do they spend doing it?
- Do they pay their fair share? Like restaurant bills, gas while traveling, and hotel expenses while on vacation.
- Do they pay you back if you give them money or your time? Do they repay borrowed money promptly no matter how small the amount? Or do they never bring it up or make excuses? Do they reciprocate by giving their time when you need help?
- Do they take responsibility for their choices and decisions? Or do they make excuses or blame other people?
- Are they punctual? Or are they usually ridiculously late? Constantly being late to agreed-upon meeting times is disrespectful. It can also be an abuse of you.
A person’s character should be the first and foremost determinate to whether you choose to get involved. Everything beyond character, good or bad, will line up accordingly in most cases.